Tries to catch a glimpse
Of the world,
I denied him.
I ignore his transgression,
Affording him respite
From all the torture
I caused.
We used to be friends once,
My only friend once upon a time,
We would while away hours
Like seconds.
Of dreams and fantasies,
And far-away lands,
We built constructs of thoughts,
And then destroyed them,
Just like that.
Sometimes I hear him scream,
In the silence of lonely nights,
I shut my lids tighter,
By dawn, it's quiet.
Through childhood had we been,
Close as close can be,
And he made me who I am,
But he is inside now.
I remember bludgeoning him,
His daunting build defeated,
Because he would not yield,
I remember trying.
Sometimes he tries to seduce me,
Into opening the dark door,
With promises of riches none can give,
I ignore.
The hands he breathed life into
Fettered him.
And now he screams.
On wistful days I wonder
If in bereaving myself of him,
I shackle myself -
I draw a blank.
He fades with every rising sun,
His screams grow distant,
And as he dies, bit by bit,
Takes me along.
Fate made a monster out of me,
I might just kill him and find,
No place in heaven,
No peace at all.
I never wanted to do this, of course,
It was a struggle within me,
It tore me apart,
In two.
I rue the day I had to chose,
And in doing so set myself free,
I locked inside the prison of ambition,
The philosopher inside of me.
Image Source: Eric Lacombe
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